} pigsty {
} poetry {
} songs {
} misc {
©2002 egf
} freak {
I don't want to be a loser anymore.
Strange, how not long ago I was set and determined to be a loser. I wanted to be one. I knew I was one. I got defensive when somebody told me I wasn't one. But how I long to be something else! I can't be a loser. What is a loser?
A loser is somebody who wastes opportunity after opportunity. Someone who has potential, but puts it to no good use. Somebody who can really make something of their life but instead wastes it away on pointless and vain things. It sickens me to think that I wanted this. I didn't, really. I hadn't thought about what a loser really was. But now is not the time for excuses..
Maybe I won't be popular. Maybe I won't be cool. Maybe I won't be a jock. Maybe I won't be a punk. Maybe I won't be a nerd. Maybe I won't be a geek. Maybe I won't be anything that anybody else is. But is there something wrong with that? I've seen the world. I've seen what it is and who people are. It has left me desiring more than what is available. So I will strive for something more. I will stand alone, if necessary. I may be considered odd. A freak, perhaps. But I have seen so much of the same thing and it is not attractive. It is not desirable. I want to stand out from the world. I want to be something different. I want to be something more wholesome, more meaningful, more desirable. I want to be a freak.
I just don't want to be a loser anymore..